I’ve tweeted this a few times… just wanted to make it a little more permanent.
VPN: LogMeIn Hamachi - so you don’t have to worry about firewalls and other networking nonsense getting in your way
Voice: Skype - or GTalk if you’re both on that. Any good voice chat should work. I like skype. It’s fairly universal.
Screen Sharing Server: In OSX: “Screen Sharing” in the “Sharing” system preferences. In other os’ - any native VNC server should work.
Screen Sharing Client: OSX’ built in ScreenSharing.app (located at /System/Library/CoreServices/ScreenSharing.app) or any VNC client if you’re not on OSX.
Source Control w/ Git: either use Github or enable Remote Login and set up an account for SSH access directly to your pairing partner’s machine.
It’s simple. It’s easy to set up. It’s free (Hamachi is free for non-commercial use). But best of all - it works! I spend pretty much every day remote pairing with this set up and it works as if I were sitting next to my pairing partner, in an office.